My new boyfriend

On saturday, I was walking through the big park, Chapultapec, on my way to find some lunch. I had just visited the castle and it was a beautiful. As I'm walking towards the park entrance, I am walking by a crowd of people surrounding two clowns passing out balloons and playing music. The crowd is laughing at what they're saying, but I'm not really paying attention. As I get closer, my ears start to burn and I realize that one of the clowns is talking to me. I try to ignore him and walk a little faster but then he keeps talking and I turn around to see the entire crowd looking at me. Dear lord. The clown asks if I speak spanish, and I lie and say no. He says he can be my teacher, and not wanting to be a chicken, let him take my hand and lead me into the circle.

So, an entire crowd of people is surrounding me, smiling at the gringa, and taking my picture. I am glad that this memory is going to complete people's family albums and websites. Yikes. So the clown asks me to repeat some things, and I repeat a few that I know are safe, but once I suspect he is asking me to say dirty things, I refuse. He asks me how old I am, and if I'm single, to which I reply yes and the crowd cheers. The clown asks if anyone is interested in me and this high school aged guy immediately pops up, with a rose, wanting to tell me how much he is into me. How a teenager just happens to have a red rose? I don't know. His friends are hooting at him and egging him on. I'm caught between laughing and wanting to cry.

The clown asks the boy how old he is and he replies "16". The clown turns to me and asks if I'm interested in him and I motion with my hands that he is too little. The guy, immediately understanding what I meant, jumps up to demonstrate just how tall and mature he is.

The clown then gathers some more people in the circle; five guys and five girls. There is one lady older than me from Miami Florida who is supposed to be translating for me, but she isn't really focused on that job. It turns out that the clown is arranging a dance competition between the boys and the girls. Team Guys goes first, and to "rock your body" by the backstreet boys, the first guy, the guy with a crush on me, proceeds to bust an erotic move to a cheering crowd. It doesn't matter that those moves are appropriate only in a club at midnight and it is 2 in the afternoon and there are lots of kids. Next goes the girl from Miami and she does some salsa steps. One more guy goes from the guys side and then it is my turn.

In my mind this can go one of two ways....I can run away and hope that they don't catch me and never live down the shame, or, I can jump in with two feet and dance my heart out in front of a bunch of strangers. I chose to dance! I shook my hips for all they're worth and just lived in the moment. How often does one have the chance to show Mexico that Americans can dance too? The crowd cheered and I saw way too many camera flashes. I'm telling myself that they were all deleted.

The dance competition continued with a young boy, probably 6 or 7 years old, beginning to do a strip tease to the same backstreet boys song. He got his jacket off and then his t-shirt (does he practice this in front of his mirror?) and was going to take off his undershirt until his mother shot him down. What a party pooper.

The final round of the dancing was pairs. The miami girl and the tallest guy danced and then it was my turn to dance with my boyfriend. He looked like he could barely contain himself while I was trying not to laugh. The clown told the guy to dip me, so with me screaming, he did. He said something I didn't understand and then dipped my again. Apparently not what he wanted because he was motioning for me to kick up my leg. This time I did and again the crown cheered. Third time's the charm.

The spectacle ended with the teenager pronouncing his undying love to me, something about the sun and the moon, who knows. And he gave me the red rose. The crowd began to shout "beso! beso!" for "kiss! kiss!" and to stop him from kissing me on the mouth, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

When it was all over, I asked to take a picture with him and he snuck in one more kiss for good measure. What an afternoon. Very funny.